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  1. #1
    Shadbot 4.20 Shadimar's Avatar

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    Default Southern Nativity Scene

    As some of you may know, I recently returned from a business trip to the American deep south (just go with it). While I was down there, experiencing the southern charm of the area, I happened upon a nativity scene. Seems Christmas starts earlier and earlier each year, eh?

    Anyway, I'm not religious by any means but even I have to admit that this piece was a bona fide work of art. Truly stunning craftsmanship and a breathtaking attention to detail that gave the figures an almost living quality. One could say that it even gave onlookers a bit of insight as to why so much art over the past tens of thousands of years has been of a religious nature.

    One part did bug me though..

    Some of the figures were wearing fireman helmets. I looked around the area for a plaque or a sign, something that would explain the, frankly, bizarre choice that detracted from an otherwise beautiful work of art - but alas, there was none. Passersby gave it not so much as a second glance so, concluding that it must be some local tradition, I went back on my way north.

    By this time it was late in the afternoon and I was getting rather hungry so I pulled into a small diner - one of those southern cookin', grits n' gravy type of places that remind you you're in Dixie. I ordered the house special, and while I was waiting I asked the proprietor if she happened to know the reason for the strange attire of the magi.

    Well, that didn't sit well with her at all.

    She rolled her eyes, shook her head, and snapped at me in her thick southern drawl "Yee gawd-dang Yankees. Y'all don't never read yer bibles, now do ya?".

    I assured her that I have in fact read the bible a great deal and not once do I recall ever encountering any passages that would even begin to make sense of the helmets.

    At that point she just lost it. Exasperated with my perceived insolence, she stamped over to the register where she kept her well worn bible and began to furiously tear through the pages, in search of I knew not what.

    "Aha!" she exclaimed, and triumphantly marched straight to up to me, verse in hand. She then proudly bellowed "I done toldya! I done toldya dinnit I? Says right here, Sah! Mathyah chaptah 2 verse 1: The wise men done come from afar!".

    ..so anyway, I'm not allowed back in the State of Georgia for the next six years.
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  2. #2
    Flowering Member nohibition's Avatar

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    Default

    Took a minute...lmfao

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    I fall upon the earth, and I am embraced. Water gives me life, and I spring forth into the light. My roots run deep into the earth, and I am nourished. With wind and water, light and earth, I conspire to ease your pain and heal your wounds, to bring you peace and calm your mind, to give you wisdom and truth of heart.
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  3. #3
    Shadinated groo's Avatar

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    Y'all gonna burn in hail for that!
    I do not fail -- I succeed at finding out what does not work.

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