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  1. #1
    Flowering Member nohibition's Avatar

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    Smile Highjackers welcome, we fly anywere

    I spend my day watching my sit in a chair with tubes hooked up to her (chemo)and it saddened me to the point were I can't sleep. When this happens I generally smoke a bowl or two and watch babies laughing on youtube. (try it)
    I also signed on here at TY only to find that my personal defense mechanism (humor) seemed to be causing a disruption. I thought about how to address the issue and decided first I had to cheer up first and then to explain what I suffer from

    Chuckleosis: (pronounced Ch-cul-osis )
    Smileitis: (Pronounced S-mile-ite- is)

    These two conditions often occur either simultaneously or individually depending on various factors the most common of which is overmedicating. However In some individuals it may occur for no apparent reason.
    Recognizing the following symptoms may help those who unknowingly suffer from one or both of these conditions…

    Severe attack. Also known as laughter
    Symptoms are:
    Aching of both the cheek and jaw muscles
    Severe tearing of the eyes
    Cramping of stomach muscles caused by tightening of the diaphragm which may in severe cases result in involuntarily releasing small amounts of urine and repeated farting.
    This malady appears to be highly contagious. In clinical studies all severe cases resulting in farting seemed to have caused other test subjects as well as the researchers to exhibit behavior similar to that observed in the early stages of Smileitis which in turn led to Chuckelosis . Within minutes symptoms spread to all who were exposed and the sounds of laughter, farting and one test subject who repeatedly asked if farts were lumpy. (Note: Beans and wieners had to be removed from the cafeteria menu)
    Attacks may last several minutes or more and result in a mild headache. In which case test subjects were re-medicated…studies are continuing.
    Thankfully at the time of this writing there was no known cure for Chuckelosis or Smileitis.
    If you have experienced any of the above symptoms or have experienced other symptoms please submit details. Please medicate (heavily) before responding as this will help in our research.

    The Nohibition Institute for Scientific Research into the medical affects of humor on YOU.
    I fall upon the earth, and I am embraced. Water gives me life, and I spring forth into the light. My roots run deep into the earth, and I am nourished. With wind and water, light and earth, I conspire to ease your pain and heal your wounds, to bring you peace and calm your mind, to give you wisdom and truth of heart.
    I return to the earth and I am embraced.I am Cannabis
    Nohibition

  2. #2
    Fat Girl Expert ROLNIK's Avatar

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    were the farts smelly ones?,,,? sneakers,,,,? er down rite sweet,,,?( some are,,, ),,,( sweet,,, )
    hehee,,,,

  3. #3
    Flowering Member nohibition's Avatar

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    Generally the farting is exhibited in the most extreme cases. This particular aspect has had very little study due to the fact that we were unable to get individual samples. However Hazmat Teams will be in place in any future experiments. As well we are uncertain if a shop vac will work.
    I fall upon the earth, and I am embraced. Water gives me life, and I spring forth into the light. My roots run deep into the earth, and I am nourished. With wind and water, light and earth, I conspire to ease your pain and heal your wounds, to bring you peace and calm your mind, to give you wisdom and truth of heart.
    I return to the earth and I am embraced.I am Cannabis
    Nohibition

  4. #4
    Data Nazi Lightly_Toasted's Avatar

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    Anal carbon filters maybe?

    LT

  5. #5
    Flowering Member nohibition's Avatar

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    LMAO.


    Sent from my LG-P705g using Tapatalk
    I fall upon the earth, and I am embraced. Water gives me life, and I spring forth into the light. My roots run deep into the earth, and I am nourished. With wind and water, light and earth, I conspire to ease your pain and heal your wounds, to bring you peace and calm your mind, to give you wisdom and truth of heart.
    I return to the earth and I am embraced.I am Cannabis
    Nohibition

  6. #6
    Shadbot 4.20 Shadimar's Avatar

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    You'd still hear it.

    Plus, a filter with enough backpressure to handle the output may become a projectile.

    It would never clear the Underwriter's Laboratory, I'm afraid.

    Perhaps One-Time-Use carbon impregnated pants would be the better option.
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  7. #7
    Couchfaced T's Avatar

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    alright, I've consulted with the assholes at Health Canada and they recommend anal stretching, 1st it will help silence the farts and 2nd it will take that smurk off your face

  8. #8
    Shadbot 4.20 Shadimar's Avatar

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    Well.. they're the experts at this sort of thing.

    I defer to them.
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  9. #9
    Flowering Member nohibition's Avatar

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    Depends, carbon filtered. One size fits all.

    Sent from my LG-P705g using Tapatalk
    I fall upon the earth, and I am embraced. Water gives me life, and I spring forth into the light. My roots run deep into the earth, and I am nourished. With wind and water, light and earth, I conspire to ease your pain and heal your wounds, to bring you peace and calm your mind, to give you wisdom and truth of heart.
    I return to the earth and I am embraced.I am Cannabis
    Nohibition

  10. #10
    Fat Girl Expert ROLNIK's Avatar

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    what smirk? ya mean this,,,, (hehee) I know nutting,,,,,
    ( middle finger,,, even tho bent,,, extended,,,,, ) Oh,,, that smirk,,, I thot it was a gesture,,,,hehee

  11. #11
    Shadinated groo's Avatar

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    Well, just so long as they aren't wrasslin' farts. You know the ones -- they creep up from behind you, tap you on the shoulder, and proceed to put a choke hold on you...
    I do not fail -- I succeed at finding out what does not work.

  12. #12
    Couchfaced T's Avatar

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    *lol

  13. #13
    Flowering Member nohibition's Avatar

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    A group of carefully selected fart experts felt the following recommendations best suited for our research.

    Shop vac for major spills
    Depends (carbon filter) to provide containment and prevent any future clean up issues. Protological plugs were considered however they are only available in one size making them incompatible with Anal spreader.
    Anal Spreader with smirk remover
    Hearing protection for instances where back pressure relief valve fails
    A bic lighter to check for methane (in high fiber diet test subjects) or a canary

    With the fart issue now addressed, there is no longer a need to cure Chuckleosis and Smileitis an affliction I thoroughly enjoy.

    Our thanks to all the dedicated people who have obviously spent many hours studying fart identification, control and containment.

    So laugh 'til you shit, it's all under control.
    I fall upon the earth, and I am embraced. Water gives me life, and I spring forth into the light. My roots run deep into the earth, and I am nourished. With wind and water, light and earth, I conspire to ease your pain and heal your wounds, to bring you peace and calm your mind, to give you wisdom and truth of heart.
    I return to the earth and I am embraced.I am Cannabis
    Nohibition

  14. #14
    Shadbot 4.20 Shadimar's Avatar

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    According to QI the flammable content is actually Hydrogen and not Methane.

    Also, it is a misconception that cow farts contribute a mass amount of methane to the environment, it is a result of fermentation in an early stomach and is released as a burp.
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  15. #15
    Flowering Member nohibition's Avatar

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    Can`t even trust a cow. So hydrogenated

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    I return to the earth and I am embraced.I am Cannabis
    Nohibition

  16. #16
    Flowering Member nohibition's Avatar

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    Quote Originally Posted by Shadimar View Post
    According to QI the flammable content is actually Hydrogen and not Methane.

    Also, it is a misconception that cow farts contribute a mass amount of methane to the environment, it is a result of fermentation in an early stomach and is released as a burp.
    Quote Originally Posted by nohibition View Post
    Can`t even trust a cow. So hydrogenated cow farts aren`t melting the icecaps?

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    Sent from my LG-P705g using Tapatalk
    I fall upon the earth, and I am embraced. Water gives me life, and I spring forth into the light. My roots run deep into the earth, and I am nourished. With wind and water, light and earth, I conspire to ease your pain and heal your wounds, to bring you peace and calm your mind, to give you wisdom and truth of heart.
    I return to the earth and I am embraced.I am Cannabis
    Nohibition

  17. #17
    Flowering Member nohibition's Avatar

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    Screwed up using taptalk

    Sent from my LG-P705g using Tapatalk
    I fall upon the earth, and I am embraced. Water gives me life, and I spring forth into the light. My roots run deep into the earth, and I am nourished. With wind and water, light and earth, I conspire to ease your pain and heal your wounds, to bring you peace and calm your mind, to give you wisdom and truth of heart.
    I return to the earth and I am embraced.I am Cannabis
    Nohibition

  18. #18
    Shadbot 4.20 Shadimar's Avatar

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    No, cow farts are not the equivalent of millions of cars every year. You've been lied to along with the rest of us.

















    It's cow burps.
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  19. #19
    Flowering Member nohibition's Avatar

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    It`s another conspiracy. The fart theory was a distraction.

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    I fall upon the earth, and I am embraced. Water gives me life, and I spring forth into the light. My roots run deep into the earth, and I am nourished. With wind and water, light and earth, I conspire to ease your pain and heal your wounds, to bring you peace and calm your mind, to give you wisdom and truth of heart.
    I return to the earth and I am embraced.I am Cannabis
    Nohibition

  20. #20
    Shadbot 4.20 Shadimar's Avatar

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    No, it's just that most Science teachers went to college to become English or History majors, then went to the school, handed in their application and heard "well, we don't have any openings there, but we can use a Science teacher" and you can't teach what you don't know.
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  21. #21
    Flowering Member nohibition's Avatar

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    So my Science teacher was a fraud which supports my belief that it`s all a big @!?$ !!! conspiracy...I`m calling Alex Jones

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    I return to the earth and I am embraced.I am Cannabis
    Nohibition

  22. #22
    Flowering Member nohibition's Avatar

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    So a successfull highjacking... from Chuckleosis to an indepth study of noxious human gases to an expose on career highjacking by colleges to conspiracy theory...

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    I return to the earth and I am embraced.I am Cannabis
    Nohibition

  23. #23
    Shadbot 4.20 Shadimar's Avatar

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    I`m calling Alex Jones
    Oh @#$% No

    Stick to Science.





    The colleges don't do the career hijacking, the Schools they eventually work at do.

    Not enough people are setting out to become Science Teachers.
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  24. #24
    Flowering Member nohibition's Avatar

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    I can see why. They`d probably end up teaching algebra cause the History teachers took all the Science openings.

    Sent from my LG-P705g using Tapatalk
    I fall upon the earth, and I am embraced. Water gives me life, and I spring forth into the light. My roots run deep into the earth, and I am nourished. With wind and water, light and earth, I conspire to ease your pain and heal your wounds, to bring you peace and calm your mind, to give you wisdom and truth of heart.
    I return to the earth and I am embraced.I am Cannabis
    Nohibition

  25. #25
    Shadbot 4.20 Shadimar's Avatar

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    3X + Horatio / 9
    _____________ + 6X + Dangling participle
    Portia ___________________________ = Y
    2F Gerund *( Wherefore art thou)


    Solve for Y

    The autoformatting kinda screwed it up on me, but you get the idea.
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